**Samhain, Hallows Eve, Celtic/Witches New year, All Saints Day,
Day of the Dead**

The veil is thin
and Grief is upon us
‘Tis the season
It is not easy to grieve in a world that asks you not to feel
A world that tells you the void, your emptiness, your pain is wrong
A world that says fill those places
with feeling that are fleeting
and things that bring instant gratification
yet have not longevity
This is not the world you were meant for
And that is why Grief is your friend, and not your foe
Grief holds the bowl, the bowl of Life
We grieve because what we love, is lost to us, or has died
in other words
You grieve because you Love
and Love is always the way
I ask you to move beyond the world you are being shown
and lean into The World that lives in the wind, the flame, the waters, the earth.
Come and be with us
Your winged brothers and sisters
The four legged, the stones, the plants, and the sky nations.
Come find your soul in the natural world around you
Let that world hold you as you honour your Grief
Death comes to all that lives
It is the natural cycle of life
It is hard for you humans
Because you Love so deep, and this is so Beautiful.
Honour what you have lost
Honour the ones you love who have died
This is good practice
This is what heals you and your earth community
Utilize this season of death
and by doing so
you allow space and time, for new life to grow
For there is no death without Life
and there can not be life without Death
Do not be afraid human friend
You are never alone.
You may feel lonely at times, for this is a natural human emotion
Just know this, you are never alone
The sky, the earth and all their inhabitants walk along side you
Let this good news break through and build your strength
Be patient with yourself as you ebb and flow
Be kind to your Be-ing
You are a beautiful and needed soul
And please
Come visit us in the natural world
We need you here.
 
With Love.
Thrush

​In the heart of the
Life-Death-Life Cycle
there lies Fall
the symbol of Death
a Death that is not the end
but one that brings
New Beginnings New Life
These new beginnings do not happen quickly
They take time, with no shame
They need space, with no guilt
Just as the leaves fall to the ground and decay
they fertilize the earth and nourish the very tree
from which they fall;
so it is with those things in our lives
that we are invited to let go of and
those things we long to be free of.
They become the very things that feed the
new & re-newed life within ourselves.
Because, good souls,
wherever there is death so there is new life.
And when we surrender to this life-death-life cycle
we allow that which was not healthy or well within us
to become re-newed or be laid to rest.
Either way, what no longer serves us is released
to become something else.
We are the ones to allow
The Falling Away, The De-composing, The Death
And in this place, there is Grief
And in this place there can also be Release, Relief and Joy
 
Fall into this season of colour, magic and mystery.
Allow it to rock you gently as it moves through your blood and breath
cleanses deep your bones
taking with it that which needs to leave
Creating room for what’s to come

I was taught to think that I needed to be somebody
These days I'm happy to be nobody
Before embarking on my trip to Ireland in May I first began with a journey to obtain my biological Irish name which came from my biological father’s side. It was his mother who came here from Ireland, and it was a part of me that felt familiar.
I had his name, which was given to me 15 years ago when I located my biological mother. Through his name found out he stilled lived in the place that I was conceived. I found out he had three daughters and eventually, 8 granddaughters. And more recently, I found out his wife of over 50 years had passed away. I probably know too much, and this is the time we live in, where a name can unlock many mysteries. So utilizing his name, I went down numerous roads to contact him, all the while being very clear that the name was all I was in need/want of. To go to Ireland with my ancestral name…well, truth is it still brings me to tears.
But it was not to be. Dead ends and lack of response caused me to lay that plan down a week before my departure. It was a boundary I had set for myself, along with the plan, that if nothing came of this search, I would put it down forever.
I had a deep sense of sadness and disappointment and yet, as I finalized plans and looked things up on the internet around our trip, I could feel the pull from the land, the welcoming. There came a thought that I did not need that name to belong, to find my place, to feel the connection. And that thought became truth. The land that always called to me, welcomed me,
one with no name.
The being there for those 3 weeks, walking the pilgrimage for those 8 days, sharing the experience with those precious to me filled me, changed me, allowed me to know myself just that much more, and to discover more about this human life and the world I, we, are a part of.
I saw that longing for what I didn't have is what brings pain.
It’s not, the not having.
We are made to adjust, to move, to transform, to ebb & flow.
We are meant to change, allowed to change.
I am changed. I am changing. This experience supported that.
I was once conditioned to believe that I had to be somebody to matter and I have learned that space here is not earned, it is given freely and asked to be honoured through love, grace and compassion.

​Breathing myself out of The Shadows
I find myself breathing deeply these days.
There has been much to witness, much to release much to face and much to process.
I recently had a thought that life isn’t about being easy or hard.
life if Life
And that, for me, encompasses All.

​During my 55 years of walking this earth, I have come to discover that sometimes I must move into the shadows, I must move into the darkness of my being, in order to find the light and this is no small undertaking.​​

These kinds of journeys have often brought pain or been spurred on by deep grief. And with each journey, I seem to know less and expand more.

Recently, I found out a little more about the caterpillar metamorphosis into being in a butterfly. I was aware that a caterpillar turns into slime before rebirthing into the form of the butterfly. However, what I did not know is that within that process, there are certain cells within the caterpillar that fight this transformation, and until those cells die the transformation is not able to begin.

​What I found fascinating about that was that, even though a caterpillar consciousness is different than my own, even with them, there is resistance.
This spoke to me that perhaps resistance is part of this life experience, and it’s not about feeling shame or guilt in my resistance, or even trying to fix it. Perhaps it’s more about leaning into the resistance, seeing it for what it is -a natural part of process- and acknowledging it as I continue to transform and rebirth.
A kind of ‘feel the fear and do it anyways’ thing, I’m invited into. Truth is, for me, it is a necessity so I can live fully, and completely into this life I’ve been given.

​Winter has been a dark and necessary time, AND I am emerging, once again. And like the butterfly, the chick, the baby bird, I must break out of a shell, that once held me.
This spring it looks like leaving my precious and treasured home, in which I lived for 21 years. This home, that grew both of my man-children. This home, that held hamsters, a rabbit and three dogs. This home, that has held both my and my husband’s businesses and way of life. This home, that came to us as such a gift, in a time when we, seemingly, had nothing. This home that told me it would be the place where the women would gather and pray; and gather they did! This home. This sweet home that has held so much, for so many has let me know that we have ‘outgrown’ it. We have completed what we came here to do. Raised our children, built our family, solidified our foundation and it is now time to leave it behind and move into the next season of our lives. A season that sees us not only leaving our home, but the community that home is found in.

​You can image this has brought up many emotions for each of us, as well as for those who have communed within these walls and on this precious little piece of land.
Leaving behind what you know is not easy. Leaving behind what you love deeply is life changing.
We have decided to take the challenge, crack the egg, and invite in what is already waiting for us.
I am forever grateful for how Life weaves in support, in unexpected way, to help us through these hard changes and decisions. My legs are shaky, my heart is strong, and my mind exhausted & willing. And it is here, I remain.
Breathing myself out of the shadows.
For the air in our lungs
For the invitation to begin again
For new beginnings and renewed life
For Illumination Clarity and Wisdom
For Eagle Vision and Hawk Focus
Where does Spring find you, my friend?