It’s been a hot minute…or 5.
How has summer been treating y’all? How have you been navigating the hot emotions of this season? (Yes, it’s true, summer can be a hot time both physically and emotionally.) I’m hanging in over here. There have been highs and lows, and maybe even some low lows. Well, lets re-phrase that…there has been some dark-night-of-the-soul kind of experiences as I forge my way through this season of menopause. And yes, it often feels as if I am forging through. And I know that my feelings are intensified at this time, so the invitation is for me to sit is self-care regulation for mySelf AND continue to trust the process, as best as I am able.
In the meantime, I am walking one day at a time. It seems to be the best way to support myself through this natural and necessary transmutation. I continue to surprise myself. I was recently speaking with one of my support groups, sharing with them that the gift of age has been letting go and moving through with much more ease than I ever have before. I still feel all the feels, AND I feel less attached. My thought is that it is because of the wisdom I have gathered on my life journeys. The wisdom that no matter what is going on around me, I still have a choice as to how I want to show up, and beyond knowing this, I now allow myself to live it. That did not happen overnight. It has been a constant coming back to the work bench, the table, the drawing board again and again.
Last week I sat with a sister friend and showed her an image of a duck that I had encountered that very morning. Clearly coyotes or a coywolf had enjoyed it for a meal, eating the most tender parts and leaving the rest for me to come upon. In my 13 years of walking that path regularly, I have never come across remains like that. Feathers that indicated a struggle and meal had happened, yes, but a gutted duck, no. I told her I came upon it when I was grappling with myself and my feelings about some things happening in my life. The duck remains represented how I felt…gutted and dismembered. And what I know about those feelings, from my past experiences, is that they do not remain. They represent healing, deep healing that goes beyond my own consciousness. I appreciated the visual. I collected an image but will not share it here as I want to honour that it might be disturbing to some. My age, along side the medicine gathered on my journey, has offered me a place of pause…meno-pause…where I react/respond less, and observe more. There is so much of life that I do not understand, and there is a part of me that feels so certain. How can that be? That, for me, is the spiritual side, the Great Mystery, the spiritual Unknown, The Universal Life Energy that is just to big for my human brain to sometimes comprehend. So I stay with what I do know, on the path that is provided, even when it seems to not make sense. That feels and looks like emotional maturity to me. Trying less and Trusting more.
So that’s me, silently stepping out of the race, and finding my own way.
This is what feels important.
And that’s enough about me. If you are still here, thank you.
I have a few new day retreats for the fall posted on the offerings page, as well as two 9-month groups starting in October. The Healing Room is always available for those needing a minute to breathe and receive, and The Well Healing Circle will be activated again next month. It is an honour to lay out these offerings in a time such as this, where the world is burning, and refinement is happening.
See you out on the trails friends.