March 21st, 2023

​I can see winter leaving all around me
I feel the shift in the air
I see the change in the earth
New life begins to break through the soil
Reaching for the light
Birth and Re-Birth
It is happening before my eyes
And I welcome it
Celebrate it
Am grateful for it
And with in me
Something else is happening
Winter still remains
Transmutation is still in progress
I sense there is a thaw
A winter break up, that is taking place
And I slowly begin to stir, from my place by the fires of my ancestors

​I still see the frost
I still smell the snow
And I feel the thaw
I feel the stirrings and that causes a part of me to want to jump up and get going, as I have done so many time before
I want to change the image of me in the snow…Winter Woman and yet I am unable to do so.
I am not who I was before
I am not the woman I once was, nor should I be
I have been many women on this journey of life
Many girls, many humans, many versions of mySelf
Elderhood has taken me to new realms, new understandings (which is not understanding) and other worlds that words of our language cannot be threaded to.
This pilgrimage has been like no other
If I did not know what it is I know,
I might think I was breaking down...

​Instead I find mySelf breaking open
So, the fire remains close as I breathe in the breath of spring
She is there with me
Along side the winter of my soul she is there
I plant seeds and she holds them and those that are ready she brings to life
I see them
Pushing up through the snow
I feel them rooting deeply into the warming soil
I continue to surrender and trust
I continue to stay present and believe
I continue to listen, learn and heal
Here I remain

(this picture was so hard to post, and I wanted to honour the part of my experience that is
celebrating, and honouring the season, she deserves to be scene.)