Catherine Beerda-Basso
Reflections
May 04th, 20235/4/2023 "They do not go willingly
They don't want to be transformed They cling to my ribcage for dear life Not understanding that the life they cling to is already dead Not understanding that they are being invited into a living Life I have to be still So they can be moved My skin feels delicate and thin And so I walk Becoming a messenger to myself And it is here Mother Mary comes to me...." -February 2, 2012 :: an expert from "Love Light and Shadow" by Catherine Beerda-Basso :: It is interesting to find myself back in this place. Different and yet familiar. Menopause has called me to be so very very still, despite the fires that burn inside. I have begun to think that is is actually BECAUSE of the fires that burn inside. At the time of writing that I was just coming back to life. I was still strongly tethered to my depression and through it's lens had convinced myself that my family would be better off without me. I was ready to leave this life and making plans to do so. What transpired that day was beyond my own manifestation, my own understanding and yet, I understood clearly. I did not leave. I chose to stay. And, yes, I was given a choice AND there would be a price because I was asking for that which was not a natural occurrence in my time line. The price was one I was not willing to pay AND I was forever changed, in such a beautiful, unexpected way. I turned away from that day fully stepping into my life, embracing the all of it and even grateful to be alive. What a foreign concept that was at the time. Grateful to be alive, and yet I was and still am. I do not walk without challenge, struggle or grief...thus the circling back to this writing. I do, however have a deeper and changed understanding of this life we live and that goes with me every single day. This season of menopause has offered me opportunities to come alongside the traumas, the abuses, the sad stories of my past, and bring spiritual and human truth to those places. I find myself often re-living feelings of the past, AND being asked to bring the truth of today alongside them. So, unlike before, I am not taken under, I am not lost, I am not without sanctuary. I AM affected, I am feeling this transmutation, transformation, cleaning of my bones fully and full on. There are no words to describe this season of life, it is something that must be lived, to be understood. And so I am living it. Thin skinned and tender hearted, in a time when the world is burning, I stand raw and weary AND alive and blessed beyond measure. Here I remain. #lovelightandshadow #memoir #writer #passthestory #holyholyholy #loverevolution #healingfromtheinside #wordmedicine #medicinewomanwalking
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March 21st, 20233/21/2023 I can see winter leaving all around me I feel the shift in the air I see the change in the earth New life begins to break through the soil Reaching for the light Birth and Re-Birth It is happening before my eyes And I welcome it Celebrate it Am grateful for it And with in me Something else is happening Winter still remains Transmutation is still in progress I sense there is a thaw A winter break up, that is taking place And I slowly begin to stir, from my place by the fires of my ancestors I still see the frost I still smell the snow And I feel the thaw I feel the stirrings and that causes a part of me to want to jump up and get going, as I have done so many time before I want to change the image of me in the snow…Winter Woman and yet I am unable to do so. I am not who I was before I am not the woman I once was, nor should I be I have been many women on this journey of life Many girls, many humans, many versions of mySelf Elderhood has taken me to new realms, new understandings (which is not understanding) and other worlds that words of our language cannot be threaded to. This pilgrimage has been like no other If I did not know what it is I know, I might think I was breaking down... Instead I find mySelf breaking open So, the fire remains close as I breathe in the breath of spring She is there with me Along side the winter of my soul she is there I plant seeds and she holds them and those that are ready she brings to life I see them Pushing up through the snow I feel them rooting deeply into the warming soil I continue to surrender and trust I continue to stay present and believe I continue to listen, learn and heal Here I remain (this picture was so hard to post, and I wanted to honour the part of my experience that is
celebrating, and honouring the season, she deserves to be scene.) March 03rd, 20233/3/2023 MARCH
Dearest Mother Earth.... Thank you for all it is you do for all it is you are for all it is you give. You inspire me to be a better mother a better woman to go beyond the surface and dig deep You offer me a place to grow a place to put my roots and to anchor my heart You hold my grief when it is just too big to bear and you dance with me when my joy over flows You offer me wisdom freely seeking nothing in return You are the one that holds the Great Magic Written on your crust are the stories of old Creator spoke you from the Heart of Love and All Things Beautiful Your flow, my flow Your fire, is my fire Your rain, my rain Your soil, is my soil You teach me You humble me You are a reflection of my heart my being my true center You are my friend My confidant You never turn me away whether I come with a song in my step or fall to my knees and soak your soil with my tears You are there Every Sunrise Every Storm Every Rainbow Every Sunset Honours You Forgive us when we don't tend to you In the Good ways when we take more than we need when we do not trust there is enough Forgive us when we are careless of the resources you provide Forgive us when we don't remember to honour our ebb and flow within natures rhythm Forgive us our sometimes reckless ways Forgive us when we foolishly forget that YOU are HOME and WE the tenders of what you have given A deep Sacred bow Arms stretched up and open All in gratitude for you... Love Light and Shadow Catherine image collected by me 2022 I was on an early morning walk and was fortunate and blessed to see a mother and her 3 otter pups on the waters edge, feeding and playing. The Journey2/15/2023 February 02nd, 20232/2/2023 Imbolc has come, and the light is slowly and intentionally returning.
The stirring of nature’s new life is beginning. Ideas are taking form, as the seeds of intention are being considered. What will I grow this year? Is what I ask myself… And as I slowly move into this new calendar year, and I find myself standing at the door of Imbolc, I acknowledge the reflection, release and calling in I have been walking. Recently, I found myself being asked to acknowledge a part of mySelf that I put away, for safe keeping. I’ve been asked to acknowledge the pain, the horrors and the confusions, when I was powerless, voiceless, unseen, unheard. The act of ack-now-ledg-ment is a form of alchemy. It takes us out of those dark and hidden places we have put parts of ourSelves for safe keeping, hiding them away from the monsters and unsafe aspects of our lives. This is where I find myself. Invited into a space to sit with my Self in acknowledgment. Invited and asked to be the alchemist of my own healing. To bring out of hiding, the final piece of myself, the one I told to wait. There is no mining to do this time, no digging, no dark night of the soul All that I need has already been gathered, unearthed, conjured, prayed for, revealed. This time, it is merely the acknowledgement, a nod to the events and experiences that molded and made me. A welcoming home. To sit at the kitchen table and say ‘I see you. I know what you have gone through. You are safe with me.’ One of my sister-friend told me about how her indigenous peoples, The Oneida People, measure age. They do it by how many winters you have seen. I have seen 55 winters. In that time, I have seen, felt, heard, and experienced much. Enough to know that there is much more to come. Enough to know what freedom feels like. Enough to know that I am not finished. Enough to know that I have just begun. Enough to know that I have not been abandoned. Enough to know that there is more, more that my human eye cannot see so easily. Enough to know that I…I am Enough…even when I don’t feel it. So I stand, sit, walk and be in The Acknowledgement. I welcome the return of the light and I pray for it to move slowly, as I feel that I need time. It smiles at me, a broad, never-ending grin that reminds me, there is neither beginning nor end. What there is, is a spiral of life, a continuum of what was, what is and what will be. There is time, more than I need Tonight, as I acknowledge this time of year, and the return of The Light I say and offer this prayer: Dance me on the Inside Dance me on the Outside Dance me through this life with Love Dance me to me to my Sacred Home And when it grows dark And the night burns bright and clear Dance me to my Heart & Soul To the place where it all began Where I, again, can be reborn May all conflict reap fruit May justice come to pass May the way be made clear enough Aho Amen May it be so #holyholyholy #prayer #anewyearprayer #inthepause #winter #imbolc February 02nd, 20232/2/2023 February
Imbolc ~Catherine Beerda-Basso Springs Beginnings Winters Thaw and perhaps in this place Love will be invited in Love will be allowed to To Rise with the light Love shown in troubled times is the most precious of all It is easy to love when there is no tragedy hurt strife grief challenge Bone Love happens when it is hard Love built with sturdy ‘strong bones’ flourishes Loving when it hurts creates fortitude it takes great courage to stand in this kind of Love May we all such courage May the marrow of our bones hold us May the blood in our veins keep us May the earth beneath our feet and all that lives there guide us with Compassion May the sky above and all that resides there watch over us in Grace May we have courage May we have courage May we have courage Courage with Wings (Kitchen Finch) collected by me 2022 Transmutation1/28/2023 Beautiful and Worthy
I lay into the earth With the Courage to feel I scrub my body heart and mind of the accumulated stresses and unaddressed anguish I am the author of my personal story Rebirth Offering Nourishment feed the Soil of my Spirit as investment in freedom Reflection and Restoration open me Precious attention fills me I Trust You I Trust Me I am Winter Grieving Woman “She who has the Courage To Break Open” I continue to feed in secret what needs to thrive This is what transmutation looks like And here I remain image collected by me 2023 words inspired by Prayers of Honoring Grief ‘Transmutation’ By @pixielighthorse Patience1/27/2023 Pray
Make prayers Sing prayers Live like a prayer It's OK You're OK You're finding your way Breathe Pray Breathe Pray Breathe Pray Be gentle Honour Love You are The Light You are The Gatekeeper You are Home ~Catherine Beerda-Basso image collected by me 2021 gifted by Winter & CoyWolf #nofilterneeded #pray #prayer #winter #honouringthenorth #coywolf #bethemedicine #youarethemedicine #patience note: *prayer is personal, there is no one way to pray/set intentions/plant seeds/give voices to needs and celebrations *prayer is personal, make it your own Life Death Life Cycle10/30/2022 This season pulls me in
I want to feel my bare feet in the cold dark earth I want to feel my hair stick to my cheeks as the fog dampens it I want to smell the freshly chopped cedar waiting to be fed to my wood stove I want to sit in the long night pondering the death of things within and around me I want to feel the crisp of the early morning as it wakens my skin and then the cool damp of the night air while I watch the owl hunt and the candle flickers I want to re-member where I came from I want to re-member where I have been These are some of what makes me feel alive in these days of deep, mysterious, and vulnerable change. And that is why we have gathered, to honour, to ignite, (and as Gandhi said) to be the change we want to see in amongst our people and in the world. We are the great granddaughters of generations of women who had to hide their ability to heal, to hold wisdom, to know. Women who were told to be feared. We are the granddaughters of generations of women who were told that they were savages, uncivilized, sinful, crazy, disposable. We are the daughters of women cut off from their truth, their birthrights, their grounding, their voice. Women who were not to be believed. We are the daughters who walk with those stories in our bones, in our blood Our cells hold the stories of all those who walked before us And we feel the suffering, and so we gather For this is the time of reclaiming We are the daughters who are re-membering re-claiming what was hidden due to oppression and fear. Tonight, We are reclaiming the Sacred Feminine and re-birthing it through our shame-less and wild, feminine bodies, into this modern world. We are reclaiming the Lost Voices, as we sit in sacred space and listen, with sacred pause, to what they have to tell us. We are reclaiming our magic We are reclaiming our ritual We are reclaiming our ceremony We are reclaiming connections, with ourselves, each other, the natural world and to The Great Mystery of The Spiritual Realm We are reclaiming the wholeness of ourselves, our light and our dark We are reclaiming the traditions of our peoples And we are honouring the traditions of the lands we now live on Together we re-member and re-claim all that was forgotten, punished, ignored, shamed, and dismantled We do this together, because in this place of togetherness, we are stronger We all know death We all know loss We all know suffering In these places we can stand together, equally. Our skin, our genetics, our heritage does not stop this connection Do the trees not stand together, even though they are different? So it can be, and is meant to be, with Us. Together Together, we are stronger. Together we are re-claiming our connection to each of our own Sacred Feminine Life Force and together we reclaim our communities as places where values and traditions are honoured, by bringing back what we have re-member by bringing back what we have re-claimed. We are in a time where the tower is crumbling, a great unraveling is in motion and it is in this time of great change, that we are called Called to Re-claim our birth-right Our birth-right of The Sacred Feminine. We have re-turned. And it is here, I remain. -Catherine Beerda Basso Samhain Gathering 2022 We came here to do hard things9/29/2022 We came here to do hard things
This is not the same as coming here to suffer Pain + Resistance = Suffering We came here to do hard things experience connect learn about that which can not be explained WE cannot be explained Can that BE ok? Why do you think the dominant culture pushes the explanation? the understanding? the knowing? Are we meant to fear ourselves? Would we teach the children to fear who they are? the magic they carry? the wisdom they already hold? Would you teach the children to fear themselves? My pray is that your answer be a resounding NO. What purpose is there in fearing our own magic? And if you cannot find purpose in that What do you see as the Truth of who/ what you are? We came here to do hard things, and we were not meant to do them alone. These are the thoughts I sit with tonight as I look forward to tomorrow, when I will head into the mountains with a small group of brave sisters willing to do hard things. Willing to Listen Willing to Learn Willing to Heal Not heal to fix but heal to expand. I have been holding these retreats, in The Cascade Mountains for 10 years now, and this will be the last time I will do this. It’s hard to let go. Yet, it is what is being asked of me. I don’t know what is waiting for me around the corner, and that is hard. Yet I trust, even when it is hard to. And, for now, I go to sleep knowing I will awake to take one more trip into the mountains, with brave and beautiful souls, who like me, are willing to do hard things, and are not afraid of what we might find our about ourSelves, in the process. See you on the other side. #intothedeep #sisterhoodheals #shaenalachhealingandretreats #listenlearnheal #connectionisthecure #celebrate #bethemedicine ReflectionsHere you will find my process in writings. Archives
May 2023
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