July 04th, 2023

​THE LIGHT IS RETURNING...
It is cracking through, just a little, and my breath feels wider
Slowly, I feel myself naturally sensing into the possibilities
no pushing, no making it happen, there is only presence
my presence, my ability to be as I my ability allows
no expectations * no should * no musts
(somewhat challenging for my conditioned mind and possible)
In this place,
Subtle trepidation and Grounded excitement vibrate through my bones
And, I find mySelf giving gratitude for the value of The Darkness
and the willingness of The Light.
I, like the light, am not fully returned
I am like the crowning baby
moving tightly through the birth canal of life
being born again
Baptized through story, experience and song
Be-Coming what I was not and what I am
I have learned through these past 4-5 years
that The Pause rushes for no one or no-thing
it is not about completion
rather, it is the beginning
the Beginning Again
FILLED with
such Wonder
such Amazement
And so much Grief…and Love
because those two are never far from one another
often walking hand in hand
holding each other up, they smile at one another,
in a deep honour that can be described by no word.
The light returns slowly
I do not know what I will see when it does
I do not know who I will be
I do know I am not the same
I so know I am not meant to be
There has been solitary journeys, death, birth, fire, rains and winds.
Deep, dimly lit caves filled with bones, stories and memories
asking to be cleaned, sorted and tended to
Versions of mySelf brought home, acknowledge and loved
More Death, Birth and Rebirth.
Re-membering and Allowing
Laying to rest and Re-claiming
Listening and Honouring
Community build and Community dismantled
Trust lost
Trust found
Challenge, Sorrow and Pain
Beauty, Wonder and Gratitude
All have been present
All have shown up
As have I
Who will I be when I emerge from The Winter I've been in?
I remain to be seen.
The Return
#inthepause #listenlearnheal
#medicinewomanwalking #winterisleaving