​Breathing myself out of The Shadows
I find myself breathing deeply these days.
There has been much to witness, much to release much to face and much to process.
I recently had a thought that life isn’t about being easy or hard.
life if Life
And that, for me, encompasses All.

​During my 55 years of walking this earth, I have come to discover that sometimes I must move into the shadows, I must move into the darkness of my being, in order to find the light and this is no small undertaking.​​

These kinds of journeys have often brought pain or been spurred on by deep grief. And with each journey, I seem to know less and expand more.

Recently, I found out a little more about the caterpillar metamorphosis into being in a butterfly. I was aware that a caterpillar turns into slime before rebirthing into the form of the butterfly. However, what I did not know is that within that process, there are certain cells within the caterpillar that fight this transformation, and until those cells die the transformation is not able to begin.

​What I found fascinating about that was that, even though a caterpillar consciousness is different than my own, even with them, there is resistance.
This spoke to me that perhaps resistance is part of this life experience, and it’s not about feeling shame or guilt in my resistance, or even trying to fix it. Perhaps it’s more about leaning into the resistance, seeing it for what it is -a natural part of process- and acknowledging it as I continue to transform and rebirth.
A kind of ‘feel the fear and do it anyways’ thing, I’m invited into. Truth is, for me, it is a necessity so I can live fully, and completely into this life I’ve been given.

​Winter has been a dark and necessary time, AND I am emerging, once again. And like the butterfly, the chick, the baby bird, I must break out of a shell, that once held me.
This spring it looks like leaving my precious and treasured home, in which I lived for 21 years. This home, that grew both of my man-children. This home, that held hamsters, a rabbit and three dogs. This home, that has held both my and my husband’s businesses and way of life. This home, that came to us as such a gift, in a time when we, seemingly, had nothing. This home that told me it would be the place where the women would gather and pray; and gather they did! This home. This sweet home that has held so much, for so many has let me know that we have ‘outgrown’ it. We have completed what we came here to do. Raised our children, built our family, solidified our foundation and it is now time to leave it behind and move into the next season of our lives. A season that sees us not only leaving our home, but the community that home is found in.

​You can image this has brought up many emotions for each of us, as well as for those who have communed within these walls and on this precious little piece of land.
Leaving behind what you know is not easy. Leaving behind what you love deeply is life changing.
We have decided to take the challenge, crack the egg, and invite in what is already waiting for us.
I am forever grateful for how Life weaves in support, in unexpected way, to help us through these hard changes and decisions. My legs are shaky, my heart is strong, and my mind exhausted & willing. And it is here, I remain.
Breathing myself out of the shadows.
For the air in our lungs
For the invitation to begin again
For new beginnings and renewed life
For Illumination Clarity and Wisdom
For Eagle Vision and Hawk Focus
Where does Spring find you, my friend?

#springequinox #spring
We welcome the EAST
For the Breath in our Lungs
For the invitation to begin again…and again
For Spring and Renewed Life
For the Child within each of us and
For the promise that after every dark night, the sun will rise again
And in this truth, we find the Wisdom of Peace

​We call in the guardians of the East, Eagle and Hawk
That we too, like them, will rise above and see the bigger picture
That they will guide us, help us, teach us how and when to use our eagle vision and our hawk wisdom to see beyond our own selves, our own pains, our own sufferings, our own stories and instead, see the whole of all things and all that is a part of it. We ask for help as we learn to lean into the wisdom that there are many things going on, that are unseen and learning to trust that we are cared for in every moment, even during times when we do not understand why things are happening as they are. We give gratitude for this bigger picture view and the peace within it, that passes all understanding.
Blessed Be
Here I remain

​February
Imbolc & St. Brigid's Day
Springs Beginnings
Winters Thaw
And perhaps
in this place
Love will be invited…will be allowed
To Rise
Love shown in troubled times
is the most precious of all
It is easy to love when there isn't
tragedy
hurt
strife
challenge
Bone Love happens when it is hard
Love built with the sturdy, rock solid commitment Flourishes
Love when it hurts creates Fortitude
Love forged in a time of Challenge lives Forever
It takes great courage to stand
in this kind of Love
May we all have such courage
aho
aha
amen
may it be so

The Web Weaver: “Synchronicity ~ Divine Intelligence ~ Cause and Effect”
“The Web Weaver rejoices that your creations are far reaching and have positive effects on the many. Every action, every thought, every word and every deed, is woven into the web of creation. When The Web Weaver appears as your Ally, she grants you the way to others of like mind and intention and lets you know that you are not alone in your endeavors. Just when you need to make a connection, like magic, synchronicity occurs. Music reverberates through the web and plays in harmony with your own. This is a sign to trust in the connectivity between all events. The web reaches far and wide, and you’re only capable of perceiving a small part of it. Trust and pay attention to the patterns you see play out in your life. All things will be revealed through the web. Magic is afoot for you!”
 
This was the card that came to me this morning in my Wise Woman Weekly circle. It feels timely and strongly pertains to my upcoming offering:
The Pathway for The Elders.
This offering keeps ebbing and flowing, shifting and re-shaping as I get closer to the informational zoom call happening of Sunday, October 8th @ 9:30 pst. which has taken me of a journey of letting go and trust.
Examples of changes are as follows:
*The established price has been thrown out the window, with the intention to see how many participants will be taking part. What that means is there is a strong possibility it will be less (NEVER MORE) than the former investment of 3 payments of $500. (the non-refundable sign-up fee of $195.00 remains the same)
*Now, this container will be held online, for the most part, so anyone interested can participate, no matter where on the planet, you find yourself.
*Scholarships are still available as I never want finances to be what keeps a sister from saying yes.
*If you are a Sister who is on an established spiritual path, but not quite in the time of the 50’s AND you feel a call to this experience, I am open to a chat and the possibility of you joining us!
 *The informational zoom call WILL be recorded for those interested who are not able to attend.
*Elders will have till November 30th to join in on this journey. That said, it is highly recommended you sign up earlier to allow lots of time for preparation and connection with the other Elders joining us on this journey.
*More *detailed *information *can *be *found *here: 
and here: https://www.catherinebeerdabasso.com/offerings.html

This offering feels so important and timely. I will be fully immersed in this experience along side participants as I continue to unravel who I have been to allow space for who I am meant to be at this time/season of life. Personally, it has been an interesting, enlightening and sometimes challenging experience as I was and continue to be called to move away from what once, literally, saved my life. That’s feel a little scary, and yet I know through experience and observation, possibility awaits, and I am so held and seen in this earth side journey I am partaking in.
The card above goes on to say: “Your strand in the web is beautiful and unique, and you don’t need to camouflage who you really are to obtain results. You are challenged to stand tall in all your perfect imperfections, see yourself truly and allow the patterns of your life to be woven into the beauty meant for you. Keep in mind that if you do what you did, you’ll get what you got. The web remembers everything. Do something different this time and watch a miracle.”

​It has been shown to me, time and time again, that the allowing of Life is what is being asked of me, the release of control and the building of trust, even when I am unclear and especially when I am unsure. So much of my trauma and  religious conditioning taught me to dis-trust my heart and that Spirit was separate and not within me, not working with me all the time; opposite from The Sacred Truth.  It was the  listening, learning and healing with The Sacred Truth of my connection to Spirit and The Spiritual, and then living it which brought to me the deep healing I now breath. So here I go again, stepping off the ledge, into the unknown, trusting as I fall.

If you would like to jump on the informational zoom call, Sunday, October 8th @ 9:30 PST  let me know so I can put you on the list.
If you would like to be a part of the informational zoom call, but are not able to attend at that time, let me know, and I will put you on the list of those who will receive the recording.

​Hello Lovelies
It’s been a hot minute…or 5.
How has summer been treating y’all? How have you been navigating the hot emotions of this season? (Yes, it’s true, summer can be a hot time both physically and emotionally.) I’m hanging in over here. There have been highs and lows, and maybe even some low lows. Well, lets re-phrase that…there has been some dark-night-of-the-soul kind of experiences as I forge my way through this season of menopause. And yes, it often feels as if I am forging through. And I know that my feelings are intensified at this time, so the invitation is for me to sit is self-care regulation for mySelf AND continue to trust the process, as best as I am able.
In the meantime, I am walking one day at a time. It seems to be the best way to support myself through this natural and necessary transmutation. I continue to surprise myself. I was recently speaking with one of my support groups, sharing with them that the gift of age has been letting go and moving through with much more ease than I ever have before. I still feel all the feels, AND I feel less attached. My thought is that it is because of the wisdom I have gathered on my life journeys. The wisdom that no matter what is going on around me, I still have a choice as to how I want to show up, and beyond knowing this, I now allow myself to live it. That did not happen overnight. It has been a constant coming back to the work bench, the table, the drawing board again and again.
Last week I sat with a sister friend and showed her an image of a duck that I had encountered that very morning. Clearly coyotes or a coywolf had enjoyed it for a meal, eating the most tender parts and leaving the rest for me to come upon. In my 13 years of walking that path regularly, I have never come across remains like that. Feathers that indicated a struggle and meal had happened, yes, but a gutted duck, no. I told her I came upon it when I was grappling with myself and my feelings about some things happening in my life. The duck remains represented how I felt…gutted and dismembered. And what I know about those feelings, from my past experiences, is that they do not remain. They represent healing, deep healing that goes beyond my own consciousness. I appreciated the visual. I collected an image but will not share it here as I want to honour that it might be disturbing to some. My age, along side the medicine gathered on my journey, has offered me a place of pause…meno-pause…where I react/respond less, and observe more. There is so much of life that I do not understand, and there is a part of me that feels so certain. How can that be? That, for me, is the spiritual side, the Great Mystery, the spiritual Unknown, The Universal Life Energy that is just to big for my human brain to sometimes comprehend. So I stay with what I do know, on the path that is provided, even when it seems to not make sense. That feels and looks like emotional maturity to me. Trying less and Trusting more.
So that’s me, silently stepping out of the race, and finding my own way.
This is what feels important.
And that’s enough about me. If you are still here, thank you.
 
I have a few new day retreats for the fall posted on the offerings page, as well as two 9-month groups starting in October. The Healing Room is always available for those needing a minute to breathe and receive, and The Well Healing Circle will be activated again next month. It is an honour to lay out these offerings in a time such as this, where the world is burning, and refinement is happening.
See you out on the trails friends.

​THE LIGHT IS RETURNING...
It is cracking through, just a little, and my breath feels wider
Slowly, I feel myself naturally sensing into the possibilities
no pushing, no making it happen, there is only presence
my presence, my ability to be as I my ability allows
no expectations * no should * no musts
(somewhat challenging for my conditioned mind and possible)
In this place,
Subtle trepidation and Grounded excitement vibrate through my bones
And, I find mySelf giving gratitude for the value of The Darkness
and the willingness of The Light.
I, like the light, am not fully returned
I am like the crowning baby
moving tightly through the birth canal of life
being born again
Baptized through story, experience and song
Be-Coming what I was not and what I am
I have learned through these past 4-5 years
that The Pause rushes for no one or no-thing
it is not about completion
rather, it is the beginning
the Beginning Again
FILLED with
such Wonder
such Amazement
And so much Grief…and Love
because those two are never far from one another
often walking hand in hand
holding each other up, they smile at one another,
in a deep honour that can be described by no word.
The light returns slowly
I do not know what I will see when it does
I do not know who I will be
I do know I am not the same
I so know I am not meant to be
There has been solitary journeys, death, birth, fire, rains and winds.
Deep, dimly lit caves filled with bones, stories and memories
asking to be cleaned, sorted and tended to
Versions of mySelf brought home, acknowledge and loved
More Death, Birth and Rebirth.
Re-membering and Allowing
Laying to rest and Re-claiming
Listening and Honouring
Community build and Community dismantled
Trust lost
Trust found
Challenge, Sorrow and Pain
Beauty, Wonder and Gratitude
All have been present
All have shown up
As have I
Who will I be when I emerge from The Winter I've been in?
I remain to be seen.
The Return
#inthepause #listenlearnheal
#medicinewomanwalking #winterisleaving